Pivot Point

October 8, 2010 ~

One whiff of you is all it took. Now I'm fighting to swallow the lump in the back of my throat that your existence creates. Today was confirmation that all I once believed was true. I find myself dangling from many thin, invisible lines that are connected to you. I dream and wish for the day that I can walk up to you with severed lines and show you what I've become and what I represent, in hopes that you will be proud and perhaps understand all that I invisioned. The pain is trying to come unlocked, but I fight and hold onto the reality of today.

The beautiful part of today is that I get to "ask myself, 'Who do I wanna be?' I wanna be no one but ME." Life can be beautiful past the pain and I entend to eventually make it my purpose to represent that mere truth. If nothing else, but to prove you did not define or alter my existence the way I once thought you did, maybe to prove this to myself. What is a word without definition?... So it is with a person.

La beaute est la vie! And I hope to portray this in the following days of my life. Keep in mind that in order to fully embrace the joy, you must understand the depths of pain and hurt. So, I plan on a full roller coaster ride out of life with ups and downs. As painters use shaded colors to bring out the vibrant ones, so does life bring about the ugly to accentuate the things of resplendent experiences.