Hello Life

October 9, 2010 ~

Welcome Day 1 of the roller coaster called life. It seems that upon every rise and high point in life, there is a greater force than that of gravity there waiting to pull me down with utmost power. Today is the hardest that I have had to go through in two years. I became good at fighting to keep the door of hurt and pain locked. All of my training thus far has been proven to be worthless in holding me strong in the toughtest times. I want to go run to free my mind, but my feet are blistered from running as much as I have. So, I'm left here, alone, to suffer the hits and blows that the day holds ripe in its hands. I'm left to try to focus my breathing, my convulsions, and my tears. The bad part is that I have nothing to hold onto to pull myself out. No constant to keep my focus from spiraling. I'm left to ride the waves out of this storm without a life jacket, or even my arms and legs to fight the currents. Come on, "reason and logic."

All of my prayers and blessings I wished for you came true. But your humbled soul came out on the bad end, and is basking in what was left for your good soul to thrive on. Now, I'm afraid you will be gone forever and become the bad soul that took over. This hurts me more than all things I've been through so far. What's sad is that you could have been strong enough to fight this with the right people in your life. Unfortunately you pushed them away. When I used to think of you, you were life. Now, when I think of you... life is sad. Goodbye, sweet soul.

Hurry, Heart heal. Heal.